Hope Not Deferred

In 2022 Rachel and her children moved into Life Turning Point during a time in her life when making ends meet while financially taking care of family members in other households hindered her from taking care of her own family’s needs. However, Rachel did not complete the program and ended up back in the city shelter system. Then choices were made and a turn of events occurred that led Rachel back for a second opportunity to turn her life around.

Rachel, why did you come back?

After I got dismissed from LTP, I went to the city shelter for about a year and eight months. I was smoking weed in the room and hiding it for almost that entire time. Then they found out, and I got kicked out. I was in denial about it, but it was my fault.

Then I was going from shelter to shelter. While waiting in line at the Salvation Army and different places, I would tell a lot of women to go apply for Life Turning Point.

One day, I finally sucked up my pride and humbled myself. I texted Sister Kelly, which is funny to think about because she's the one who also connected me with the house I'm in now. I just texted her and asked if I could apply. I had to face those feelings of being "still homeless" or "still a mess," and the feeling that I wasn't a good-enough mother.

When I went back, I was carrying my duffel bag with my kids at my side. It was time I got myself together. I knew that I still had a relationship with them and that they still cared and loved me. So, I decided to return. I lost my father the first time I was in LTP and my mom was intubated in the hospital. The night I got kicked out of the other shelter, I was coming back from seeing her at the nursing home. She was intubated twice because she kept having trouble with her CO2 and oxygen levels. Then she went into cardiac arrest. It was a lot, but now she's okay and doing alright. I had to deal with that on top of my own homelessness.

I wanted to take control of my life and be a better mother. My kids deserve better. I told them I really wanted to get myself together. When I came back and they approved me on July 4th of last year, Sister Rita was so open-hearted. She said, "Welcome home." I still think about that. I love Sister Rita and how she's so open and loving.* Although there are strict rules, I understand them. It's a lovely community; it's a home. I felt welcomed immediately.

What was your experience at LTP this time around?

Within a month as a resident, I was accepted into a medical assistant program. I was putting in applications and trying to get my life together rather than engaging in marijuana or just frolicking throughout my day. I wasn't looking for odd jobs anymore. I wanted to challenge myself with something I could see myself working in and building upon. Seeing the medical problems my mom had, I watched the medical assistants coming into her hospital room. I asked them what their position was because I thought they might be CNAs; I wasn't really familiar with medical assistants. They told me they were medical assistants, and that encouraged me to go back to the healthcare field, since I used to be in it when I was younger. I decided to do that, even though at the time I also got accepted into a full-time job as a teacher's aide. But I felt the medical assistant program was more stable and challenging. There were six hundred other applicants. I had to interview and test to get into the free program at Lincoln University. I got in and finished the class with a “96.4”! Now I have my phlebotomy and medical assistant certifications!

What did you and your children experience at the various shelters you stayed at?

I'm grateful for the other shelters, but there were men there, and I had to watch out for that, as well as people trying to fight. It was just unclean. Even the regular shelter I was in before getting kicked out was very dirty. The place had cockroaches, and I had to share a bathroom with a man who lived next door. We had to share showers with men because it was a family shelter. It was nice at times when they gave us gifts for Christmas, and they tried their best, but the environment and some of the staff were not welcoming or loving. A lot of people around me were not godly, and I needed to be around like-minded people who had respect for themselves and others. That's why I took a chance and asked to come back. I had been waiting for months to get into a permanent room.

 I struggled with loneliness and not reading the Bible. I wasn't around loving people I could talk to. It was just me and my kids, and I would get depressed. I wasn't coping through the Lord or taking care of what I needed to. Coming back to LTP really helped me find peace. I want my kids to know that mommy is not giving up and that she will provide a clean place, clean clothes, good food, and a clean environment. I don't want to put them through that again; they didn't do anything to deserve it. It is my responsibility to provide for them. I'm still not completely straight, but it's a healing process. It's like getting on a treadmill: you're never going to lose weight if you don't get on. I'm on the treadmill now. 

So you successfully completed the program and are still getting situated in your new home. How’s life been for you and your children?

My daughter can play the flute now, and the viola. It's amazing to see them grow. When I see myself doing better, I know they will be the fruit of that as well. There is a great future for me and my children. When I do well, my kids will do well. I'm looking forward to them graduating and doing good in their lives. They are going to be able to do better in their lives, because I'm setting a better example.

I work at a doctor's office now and am considering getting a second job. If I can get a position in phlebotomy or as a medical assistant in a hospital, even if it's just a weekend gig, I'll have more income and can really change my position. I need to stay on God's path and not veer off to the left or the right. I need to keep going straight on the path the Lord is setting for me.

I've had a couple of nights here with my friend Emily in my new house. We've had two Bible study sessions. I've been using the LTP Bible. I open it early in the morning before work to read Psalms or Proverbs. I've been trying to stay in the Word and understand God's book of direction. I call it a life map. I want to understand more about it and what He has for me. I want to learn from my mistakes and not repeat them. I'm really happy to be in this house. I feel more confident as a woman and a mother. I feel like there's hope. That's  one thing LTP gave me: hope.

It's a great place that people may not completely understand. Maybe it's not their time or they aren't the right person. But for the people who do benefit, it's an amazing program. It really set me straight. Life Turning Point literally turned my life around.

Rachel was shown the picture from her first interview with LTP. She was asked two questions, “Who was she?”

That's an interesting question. A very hurt woman. One who was lost. That's what I see. That's how I felt at the time. I was hurt. I felt hopeless.

Who are you now? 

I wouldn't say I'm completely healed; it's a process and a journey. Healing never stops, but I would say I'm a healed mother. I'm resilient, ambitious, and full of goals. Just like everything else, there are baby steps. I just need to follow what God is telling me. Anywhere I want to go in life, I just need to follow His steps.

For the person learning about you for the first time and maybe to the person who is being re-introduced to you, what would you tell them about finding a turning point for themselves?

I would tell them to humble themselves and be brutally honest. Take a minute alone with God and be honest with yourself. Pray for Him to reveal what you need to work on and what you are doing that is not serving Him or benefiting your life. If you aren't reaping anything beneficial, you have to look at your daily habits. You have to be honest and realize if a habit is not getting you where you need to go. It's mainly about your habits and what you are really searching for, even if you don't understand it yet. If you are looking for love in unhealthy things outside of God, it won't work.

You have to look for love from God first, and then everything else will start flowing. A lot of people who need a turning point don't want to let go of the habits that keep them in a circle of insanity. People want to complain and stay in a victim state because they are so used to it that they don't find solutions. It could be depression, a loss of hope, or various issues with others. But when you seek the Lord, He can heal anything.